the dust covered
the pavement like the fine layer of grime
upon his skin that
you could smell
days after letting
him touch you
and you wash
scrub
scrub
wash
repeat
but you still reek
like his greasy hair
the sweat that
dripped
off his forehead
onto
your lips
you place your foot
right over the cracks because
you want to break
your mother’s back
her face
hands
mind
that told you,
you deserved this
salty lips and
sandy feet and you crawl into the bottom bunk after
swimming naked
milk
skin
aquamarine glimmers
in the
waves
and he places his
body between you and the light so that
all you can see is
the dark human like figure instead of
one hand around
your throat
one between your
legs
you’re
trying not to cry
and like a broken
record you say,
(but you think he
heard it like a plea to keep going)
afterwards you’re
sitting in the leather backseat of a car and
you can feel the
tears are finally coming but you don’t let them
a pool
of water
reflecting a rainbow
made of
oil
sharp bones dig
into the sheets at night and you lather
vanilla
cinnamon
tangerine
scents onto your
skin
but your pillows
and ribcage still
stink of him
sweetheart
honey
bun
sexy
darling
the words
reverberate against the sky
the windows shatter
as the voices fade out leaving
you barefoot and
lost on wet asphalt somewhere around the start
of june
the next time a boy
touches you
you curl your body
like a mantis and he asks why you’re
shivering
(it’s
not cold)
but it’s
so cold here in my body
always so
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