i've been listening to hope sandoval and the warm intentions and it's been raining softly outside my window all morning. you know that half light where the sun is hidden so it's a kind of milky glow radiating from the window but not reaching the walls?
i've been thinking about the ignorance of our society and how i'm very much apart of that. how we work to afford a house that we can't even live in because we're always at work. how we work to eat food so we have energy to go to work. how we work to afford a car so that we can get to and from work. and we post all of this online, so we can feel close to something, to other people's dreams, to validate our meaningless existence, to feel close to the lives we wish we had. looking at 'dream lives' on instagram you really feel like it's attainable, oh look, it's right there. maybe i can do it one day.
but it's all a big lie, in my opinion. you have to work so hard and you hardly get anywhere. can you really make anything in the world happen? can all of your dreams come true? can you truly start over or will we just go back to where we came from?
I feel like our lives and our personalities and our priorities and our morals and values are too deeply ingrained in us by the time we reach adulthood and are fully able to reconsider and evaluate what we want out of life. by the time we reach maturity we've already developed our habits and the kind of person we shall be.
i know i'm taking a negative outlook on all of this, i'm aware. but i think it's important to analyse and reflect on why we do things and why our society thinks things are normal as a whole, actions and ways of being. a lot of people just carry on, because 'that's life' and it's 'what we do'. but what if you don't want to do those things? what if there's more to your existence than just following everyone else? does everyone have to live the same life? make a family, go to uni, go to work, get a car, get a house, start a diet, quit a diet, watch sport on weekends, do some gardening, work all year to save for a one week holiday...
it's all ridiculous and i'm a spoilt privileged brat to write about how it's unacceptable here, because we do have no choice, money rules everything i guess. i could move to an island and become a castaway but really. it's unrealistic.
i need to think about what i truly love doing, what i like doing, what i want to do. because if i'm making money doing something i love, then it won't feel like work, it will be a life with purpose. and that's what i want.
i've been thinking about the ignorance of our society and how i'm very much apart of that. how we work to afford a house that we can't even live in because we're always at work. how we work to eat food so we have energy to go to work. how we work to afford a car so that we can get to and from work. and we post all of this online, so we can feel close to something, to other people's dreams, to validate our meaningless existence, to feel close to the lives we wish we had. looking at 'dream lives' on instagram you really feel like it's attainable, oh look, it's right there. maybe i can do it one day.
but it's all a big lie, in my opinion. you have to work so hard and you hardly get anywhere. can you really make anything in the world happen? can all of your dreams come true? can you truly start over or will we just go back to where we came from?
I feel like our lives and our personalities and our priorities and our morals and values are too deeply ingrained in us by the time we reach adulthood and are fully able to reconsider and evaluate what we want out of life. by the time we reach maturity we've already developed our habits and the kind of person we shall be.
i know i'm taking a negative outlook on all of this, i'm aware. but i think it's important to analyse and reflect on why we do things and why our society thinks things are normal as a whole, actions and ways of being. a lot of people just carry on, because 'that's life' and it's 'what we do'. but what if you don't want to do those things? what if there's more to your existence than just following everyone else? does everyone have to live the same life? make a family, go to uni, go to work, get a car, get a house, start a diet, quit a diet, watch sport on weekends, do some gardening, work all year to save for a one week holiday...
it's all ridiculous and i'm a spoilt privileged brat to write about how it's unacceptable here, because we do have no choice, money rules everything i guess. i could move to an island and become a castaway but really. it's unrealistic.
i need to think about what i truly love doing, what i like doing, what i want to do. because if i'm making money doing something i love, then it won't feel like work, it will be a life with purpose. and that's what i want.
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